Archive for May, 2011

Dear Oprah,

I’ve had an “ah-ha” moment.

Although I don’t (yet) have a gratitude journal, I am a recent Oprah convert. It was as if the clouds parted, my eyes were opened and I finally saw the light.

For the last few months, I’ve really been enjoying your Farewell Season. I watched intently as you brought on The Judds to talk about their own farewell tour, I wished that I was given that trip to Australia, and I almost cried when I realized that I’d missed the Fergie interview. (Still waiting for that one to re-run, hint- hint.) Not only did your Harpo magicians bring us all the “A List” guests this year, but they also managed to have Aretha Franklin belt out an extremely slow and moving version of  Amazing Grace at your Surprise Spectacular. Season 25 was some amazing television.

Why Not Me?

Ironically, although I’ve always watched your show, I have only been a fan of yours for about the last fifteen minutes. I’m sorry to say that in the past, I’ve even given you a hard time on my blog for what I thought was your self-appointed Deity Status. But after your re-interview with James Frey, I began viewing you afresh. The episode: “James Frey: Five Years Later” shocked me. I had witnessed his lashing five years earlier when you and many others in the U.S. gave him such a hard time for publishing his novel as a memoir. I couldn’t believe the way in which you let him have it.  I felt so sick for him in that moment, being human myself and often making my own mistakes, and I just wanted you to show him a little grace.

You were about to unleash the Fury.

And then you did, in your most recent interview. I thought, in fact, you showed all sorts of grace. You apologized for the way in which the interview was conducted, for making Frey feel “ambushed,” and for the way in which you went about berating him for his mistake. I thought that was very big– even for Oprah Winfrey.

It was a freeing experience for me. I could now not only watch your shows, but finally understand what everyone had seen in you all of these years. And now, instead of cynically viewing your last episode as a tribute to yourself, I was really able to view it as you intended: as a Love Letter to your viewers.

Your last episode inspired me: your pretty pink dress, your words of wisdom, and most of all your encouragement to follow one’s calling. You said, “My great wish for all of you, who have allowed me to honor my calling through this show, is that, you carry whatever you’re supposed to be doing, carry that forward and don’t waste anymore time. Start embracing the life that is calling you and use your life to serve the world.”

Amen, ya’ll!

I know you can't really see the earrings, but I loved them.

So now I’m hooked, and just in time. I’ll have to see how much it’s going to cost me each month to add the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) to my cable package. But for Gayle, Shania and Fergie, no amount could be too much.

Thanks for all of your hard work,  Oprah. I’m really going to miss you.



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How could you cheat on a lady like Maria? She’s so beautiful, she’s an accomplished author and journalist, she’s the mother of his children. The news about the split of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver (and  what caused it) makes me sad.

I guess I’m not surprised. It’s like Tiger all over again. And President Clinton, and Michael Jordan, and JFK, and Prince Charles, and Magic Johnson, and even FDR.

I am not suggesting that each of these men should have been forced to wear a scarlet “A” for the rest of their lives, but I am saying that our society should place a little more value on fidelity. Maybe if fidelity was regarded as an important virtue, (just as important as good diplomatic skills, good offensive skills, and good looks) these men would be more motivated to be faithful.

Arnold will be raked through the mud for a few months. The media will unveil all of his dirty secrets and we will eat it up while shaking our heads. But just like Tiger, I predict we will be cheering for Arnold in less than a year– or at least going to see one of his new movies. That’s ok with me. Let’s forgive him and move on.

But let’s start a new trend. Let’s brag about long-lasting marriages and couples that have faced adversity and made it through. Let’s support marriages and families and value these commitments. Let’s celebrate someone’s character rather than just his or her contribution to a score board or an appearance on the silver screen.

Maybe we won’t solve this problem of Maria’s, but let’s start a positive trend. To all those who are faithful: Tiger Lilies all around!

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By the Queen. (If I were Queen, that is.)

Whereas, I have taken into my Royal consideration the extent to which I have been obsessed with the marriage of William and Kate, a spectacle provided for our viewing enjoyment by a number of  media providers: the BBC, People Magazine, NBC’s Today Show and Lifetime Television, to name a few; and being desirous that all of my loving subjects (you, my Tiger Lily readers) may avail themselves, with all convenient speed, of the great benefits and advantages of such a spectacle;  I have thought it fit to hereby publish and declare to all of my previously mentioned loving subjects, that I formally mandate, under the authority of the Great Seal of the Tiger Lily Nation, the following statues:

Each subject should immediately view the Royal Wedding in its entirety or in its synopsis form- as provided by NBC’s Today Show, carefully considering and absorbing all of the pomp and circumstance, Queen snobbery and quirky British humor. Be sure to don an appropriately smashing morning coat (for the gents) or a fantastic hat (for the ladies.)

Furthermore, after having viewed the Royal Wedding at least once, each subject should then take an evening to view at least one, if not all, of the following British movie staples: the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice starring Collin Firth; (thank you Traci) Bridget Jones’s Diary part I or II, also starring Collin Firth; any, or all of the Harry Potter feature films, which should star Collin Firth; and my latest recommendation; The King’s Speech, also, and not coincidentally, starring Collin Firth. This will give you further insight into the British culture.

Hereto, and finally, each subject should view Lifetime Television’s made-for-tv-movie: William and Kate. (Let Love Rule.) As per personal experience, such made-for-tv-movies are the stuff that change lives. Her Royal Highness is now properly obsessed with William and Kate after viewing the (literally) awfully-fanatastic William and Kate.

. . .

This proclamation is the result of my recent and unplanned obsession with William and Kate. I guess this new fascination has grown out of every girl’s fantasy of becoming a princess; this is just the grown-up version. I can’t help but compare myself to Kate and think that “it could have been me.” Don’t kid yourself girls, we all thought this. Right- my parent’s aren’t part of the British aristocracy or even self-made millionaires like the Middletons, but the fact that I have English roots (on my mother’s side) and am of the right age: just a year or two William’s senior- is enough for a girl to dream.

What I’m most fascinated with is the idea of “Royalty” in the 21st century. Now that there is no need for an aristocratic ruler of Britain, being a “Royal” sounds like a great job. From what I can tell, each Royal family member is doomed with donating all of his or her time to charity and serving as the Nation’s figurehead with no responsibility to actually govern. This idea really appeals to me. Not to mention the tiaras.

On a cerebral level, being part of history is also appealing. Kate’s little branch is now grafted to the Windsor family tree. I think it’s the combination of my love for history and a new fascination with ancestry (thanks to NBC’s Who Do You Think You Are?) that makes this so interesting for me.

On a vanity level, having a stylist would probably be the first wish I’d have my Genie grant. My second might be to have the House of Windsor bank roll the wardrobe that he or she would pick out. As frivolous as this sounds, it’s less about having the clothes and more about getting to play a grown-up version of dress-up. I’d even settle for being part of the cast of AMC’s Mad Men  just for the wardrobe.

I’d change one thing though. I’d never marry William. I don’t care what they say- William is not overly attractive. And judging by his father’s and Aunt Margaret’s looks, I’m pretty sure there has been some in-breeding going on. If I could substitute Matt for William I’d go through with it- you wouldn’t even have to twist my arm.

I guess I wasn’t old enough to sympathize with Princess Diana’s as her unhappy life began to unfold so publicly. Now I have a (probably naive) hope that Kate’s fairytale will be just that. I guess she and I will live and learn. Maybe in a few years she will think of a life like mine and wish, for just a second, that she was in my shoes.

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