Archive for August, 2008

Longhorn Bull

Somehow my Longhorn Tiger Lily disappeared the other day. Conspiracy? I worried for a moment that the Big-Brother-Blogger-Moderator might live in Austin. Maybe. But I found it and re-posted.
Just for good measure I’d like to point out something very interesting… even some of the sports writers are calling the Longhorns “flaky.”
Ok, I promise to get back to the Tiger Lily’s– this will be my last trash-talking for August.

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This writer at Advertising Age must have read my Tiger Lily, “The Going Green Fad”, and been inspired. I say, “hooray!” to Ms. Jennifer Maxwell-Muir. And Ditto.
Check out her article. Good stuff.

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“Boomer Sooner!” Another hilarious story from the Longhorns, the pride of the state of Texas. Check out this story from a recent cheerleading camp that the Longhorns held on campus earlier this month:


For those of you that didn’t click on the link, the short version of the story is this: 26 high school cheerleaders, aged 14-17 at Texas Cheer Camp, decided to squeeze into an elevator—just to see how many people they could fit inside. And surprise! After the elevator descended from the fourth floor to the first, it got stuck. Well, one of the girls fainted and a few others were treated at the scene after one cheerleader was able to wiggle out a cell phone to call for help.

What a brain-trust. I guess there really isn’t safety in numbers after all. But maybe I’m being too hard on the girls. Maybe I’ve just been lucky to avoid such an innocent, adolescent mistake. Maybe it’s just been my claustrophobic tendencies that have kept me safe from such tragedies. Or maybe it’s just common sense. But who can blame these girls?, they were just under the influence of the mighty-wise Longhorns.

One such wise University of Texas Director of Communications, Rhonda Weldon, was quoted as saying, “There are signs everywhere: No more than 15 people or 3,000 pounds. Take the sign seriously.” Ok, so the Director of Communications points out the obvious, thank you Director of Communications. I’m glad the paper called you for a quote. Now, what about the explanation we are all looking for… where were the Camp Counselors? Probably cheering them on, literally.

My favorite part of the whole story is that this all went down, again, both figuratively and literally, in Jester Hall. Oh what a perfect stage for these little fools to play out their parts.

And herein lies the irony. Texas is revered as being one of the best schools in this region and maybe even the nation. A UT Bachelor’s Degree, MBA or Law Degree is held in high regard. Well, I’m here to say that street smarts will out-wit book smarts any day.

This story was just teeming with Tiger Lily possibility, but, because the cheerleaders sadly played into the cheerleader stereotype so well, it didn’t seem appropriate to give them an award for a “lovely contradiction.” So instead, the Tiger Lily goes to the Director of Communications. Rhonda, it’s a good thing that UT has you to handle these delicate PR situations.

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Click the following link before you start reading this, I insist.
Now we’re ready. I’d like to give a Tiger Lily to Law & Order because it has created complete chaos in my life. Ironic and sad. Thank you Dick Wolf.
My husband has been out of town the last few days which has just intensified my Law & Order compulsion, but to be true, this affair has been going on for quite some time. While my husband finishes up his work at night, I sneak off to the bedroom to watch a few episodes. Not since Harry Potter have I been so obsessed with something meant to be entertaining. But it’s my guilty pleasure. I blame the networks for their relentless supply of SVU’s and Criminal Intents. Like waves crashing on the shore of my bedroom, they never stop coming. And I can’t stop watching. Thank you USA.

I had big plans for this week. Matt would be out of town for three nights and I could do some laundry, go to the grocery store, read a book, get some work done at night without feeling guilty and maybe even go out to dinner with a girlfriend. But I needed a hit. After I dropped Matt off at the airport, I drove home thinking about laundry and Law & Order. They go hand-in-hand.
I would flip on USA and watch one episode. This is what is so wonderful about Law & Order. You don’t have to keep up because there aren’t any plot lines that extend beyond one program. It’s in-and-out. One juicy plot, all unveiled and solved in one hour. Amazing. It’s a show that doesn’t require setting a DVR. Not to mention that they are on day and night. (Although setting the DVR is a plus, because if you have to get up to go to the bathroom, you can rewind it, not miss a minute–then fast forward through the commercials.)
Then one episode turned into two, and two into five. Now it was late at night and Olivia, Elliot and I were settling into bed with my last load of laundry still in the dryer. I hadn’t gone to the store to get my usual Sunday load of groceries, but instead settled for a dinner of cereal with some almost-expired milk. Perfect. That’s what Elliot would do.

So now my three nights are up, the house is a complete mess, the laundry is still in the dryer and my Love in the Time of Cholera book has yet to be cracked. But the cases were. One right after the other. I can just see Olivia looking at me with that concerned look like she does with the victim that won’t report her attacker. In Law & Order’s defense, it’s a harmless television program that didn’t mean to hurt me… it just keeps me up at night worrying that someone is trying to break into my house.

I’m pretty sure Detective Goren would be able to diagnose my addiction pretty quickly and get me to scream out my confession of Law & Order madness in no time. There might even be a syndrome for this one.

Well, I hereby find Law & Order guilty of a Tiger Lily. For something that has “order” in the title, this has really created a huge mess.

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